it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
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