I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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