what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize