I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
you mean i was at the winter classic?
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
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