She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
