The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Randomize
