I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
my sisters under your porch take her home
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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