Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
