the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize