New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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