no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
