Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
