Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize