You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize
