apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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