I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
