I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize