My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I'm bleeding and have questions
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
