I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
