4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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