thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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