I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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