Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
