playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
