Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
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