It's like God shit irony all over that family
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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