we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
