I think im going to throw up on grandma
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
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