It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
