there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
