I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
