Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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