I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Randomize
