kristin has been a bad kristin
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
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