Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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