Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry DauseDuVall hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(513): View more from Ohio

She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.

Fav 21 1208 4035
share tweet
(715): View more from Wisconsin

sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night

Fav 5 4880 1003
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(443): View more from Maryland

I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now

Fav 8 4491 900
share tweet
(605): View more from South Dakota

I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?

Fav 14 6202 1430
share tweet
(908): View more from New Jersey

I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"

Fav 9 1625 3282
share tweet
(207): View more from Maine

He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.

Fav 7 2542 1472
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(850): View more from Florida

the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people

Fav 3 1841 987
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(425): View more from Washington

Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.

Fav 1 176 70
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(812): View more from Indiana

Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.

Fav 0 35 13
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT