I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
