we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
