I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
