That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
