Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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