She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
