that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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