you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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