I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize