maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
