Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
this is an emotional support booty call
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
