But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
im holly from the hills drunk
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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