batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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