Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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