About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize
