New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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