He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
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