If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
