I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
