I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Did I show you my penis last night?
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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