At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
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