$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize