Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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