omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
areolas are like halos for boobs.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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