They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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